“SILVER BULLET”

Reviewed by: Giggles

Rating:

(3.5 outta 5)

I saw this movie a few times when I was a kid and remembered absolutely nothing about the story going into it. There is a sense though that what worked then, still works now: GRAND MASTER BUSEY.

If you’d like to know the plot extensively, you’ve come to the wrong place. Plot summaries are for those people who do the “back of the DVD” prose. I will say that a werewolf is involved, as is a wheelchair-bound Corey Haim. After that, who in their right mind would care how the story progressed?

Wolfie gives all the Head you can handle.

You know, if what they say is true about decapitation, this was probably one hell of a ride. Guess you wouldn’t really get that roller-coaster feeling in your stomach though.

Does Gilligan know you raid his wardrobe, Lucas?

Actual line from the film:
“You always take his side cuz he’s crippled!”
–Haim’s disgruntled Sister

Enter the BUSEY.
Believe it or not, his line here is “Taa-daaaaaa!“

The SILVER BULLET wheelchair.
Now, let’s soak this in and put ourselves in Corey Haim’s shoes… First, you’re about to receive a better wheelchair than you had before, and Second, your uncle Gary Busey is the evil-genius inventor of your new seat. How cool is that?

The fact that my own legs work almost makes me angry.
Why does that little twirp get a cool motorcycle chair?
He doesn’t even have a license to drive.

And we got Priest Plissken over here, just as green with envy as myself.
The Lord aught not grant that useless little bastard such gagetry. And here I am, still waiting for my boomerang-Cross to wipe the earth of nosferatu, but does the Lord return my voicemails. Hell no.

Kick it Busey-style. Church is boring, so bring a nice and heavy FLASK!

Corey Haim decides that the only way to lure werewolves will most certainly have to incorporate incendiaries. After a couple failed attempts at lighting a few sidewinders, he decides to up the stakes and starts sending up roman candles.
Turns out that Werewolves fuckin hate fireworks.

OH, THE PRETTY LIGHTS!!!! AHHHH!!!

“There better be a good reason for Lucas sending all those noisy-ass lights into the air. I was planning on hobbling him for it, but goddamnit, now I’ve got to rethink the circumstance.”

Brusha-Brusha-BrushA.

In the end, you’ll probably have fun with SILVER BULLET. There’s no way in hell you can take it seriously or even begin to imagine it happening in the way it does, but that’s actually why it works.

Note: You can easily be distracted screening this film. I know its hard to believe, because of this article’s acute attention to every detail, but when my friends and I watched this movie we were often occupied with conversation.

Well, we were, save for the moments Busey came on screen. Then the magic began.