"10 Reasons Why Santa is Evil"

Written by : Giggles

 

"Pimpin' in the snow ain't easy."

 

#1 --- Santa despises red noses and all they stand for.

 

"So, you want to be a homo, er, a dentist?"

 

#2 --- Santa takes advantage of his elves and has turned them into brainwashed slaves!

"We are DEVO!"

 

#3 --- Santa Makes the elves "fill" his bag.

 

#4 --- Santa is a mafia union task master.

Rudolph is surrounded by conforming assholes. UNION! UNION!

 

#5 --- Santa doesn't like the deformed or the homosexual.

 

Strange that nobody I know can recall a Yeti in the Rudolph song.

Or this dingle named Yukon Cornelius that enjoys licking ice picks.

 

#6 --- Santa has developed a concentration camp for misfit toys.

 

"Off to the ovens with you, Mr. In-the-Box."

 

These toys are misfits? Oh wait, now I see! An elephant doll with polkadots and a plane, doll, and choo-choo with subtle paint jobs. How horrific.

 

#7 --- Santa makes Rudolph grow up on his own and live a raw childhood, Simba-style.

 

#8 --- He blames Rudolph for all of his problems.

 

# 9 --- Santa's mustache looks like devil horns.

 

#10 --- At the first sign of complication, Santa quits and cancels Christmas.

 

Runner up:

He tells his elves to toss out misfit toys from the sleigh, thirty thousand feet up, with nothing more than a flimsy umbrella.